If you don't know by now....
Then now you know..
That I am the LushDiva.
I mean, Come. The name of the website it "ThelushDiva.com". You get it.
I also know that you probably have your own ideas of what it means to be a "Diva", and they are probably centered on beauty or fashion or a certain attitude, but I'm here today to break it down for you just what exactly it means to be a diva. Every woman has an inner Diva inside them, and this is how to discover her.
Step 1: Be Yourself
So when running this blog past my coworkers, and some of my students, I asked them "whats the first step to being a diva", and naturally they gave me the answers "Hair, Nails, attitude". Good guesses, but no. Being a Diva is being 100% who you are unapologetically and without fear.
Well How do you know who you are?
Ask yourself these questions: Whats important to me? What do I like? Am I making this an integral part of my life? What don't I like? Am I doing my best to avoid these things?
My happiness and stability is most important to me. That sounds shallow, but a lot of women go through life sacrificing our happiness because we feel like thats natural and necessary. Well, its not. Sacrificing is natural Sacrificing your overall integral happiness IS NOT. You deserve to be unilaterally happy pretty much all the time. If your at your peak, you will be able to help bring those around you to their peak as well.
So, What do I like?
I like fashion and beauty, and for the first time in my life, I am exploring how to turn my loves into a career. This experience has been one of the most rewarding ones of my life.
What don't I like?
I don't like drama and I don't like shenanigans, I don't like vulgarity and I don't like negativity. I unapologetically avoid these things at each and every point in my life. This sometimes causes me to be left out, or has even impacted relationships with friends and family but in the end game, it has led me to be happier and to have more time to spend on the things I love to do.
So what does this mean for you?
Find out who you are, and own it.
I'm THE LushDiva. I love all things luscious and luxurious in terms of beauty in fashion.
I'm also a goofy goober, i'm a nerd, i'm an introvert, i've basically a human Koala bear, and i'm okay with that too. You are a multifaceted woman, don't ever let anyone put you in a box.
You? You might be a bikerdiva, a naturalistadiva, a writerdiva, a soccerdiva, a dancerdiva. Whatever it is, own it!
What if I Don't Know Who I am?
I have met many a woman, young and old, who have absolutely no idea who they are inside. They simply pull from societys standards of what we "think" they should be. Or they've created a persona for themselves based on what they like, that doesn't really match WHO they are. If you are someone who is lost, maybe your young and you're just now exploring yourself, or maybe your older, have had some kids and you've lost sight of that girl you were in college, heres what to do.
Take a day and try something you've always wanted to try, or do something you haven't done in a long time. Read up on things that interest you, to see if one of these things sparks a passion. Talk to people who are older and wiser, and take their advice.
My older and wiser person is my Grandma. Just this summer she got onto me about working so much and she said...
Don't let it [life] pass you by Girl
This word of wisdom definitely led me to more seriously reevaluate my life goals and career goals. And now here I am, newly single, a business owner, a growing blogger, and on the brink of a major career and life change, I'm anxious, scared, nervous, but i'm ready! Theres no time like the present to find out who you really are.
Step 2: Build Your Esteem / Self Confidence
If you cant look yourself in the mirror without makeup and see the beauty in you, then you don't need to be wearing it. For me, the women who I always identified as DIVAS we're always marked by their radiant self esteem. Not just self esteem that says "hey i'm here and I look good" but self esteem that says, "Hey, I love myself, its cool if you do too and its cool if you don''t. Self esteem is not giving the false appearance of being perfect, or being without flaw. Self esteem is the acceptance of said flaws with the understanding that none of them take away from your physically beauty or your inner beauty.
I'm have dry skin.
My teeth don't touch.
And i'm okay with that. I look good, I feel good, I'm good baby!
And I want you to feel good too.
With that being said, its important to note that self esteem cannot be given to you. Many women gain their self esteem from the number of friends they have or the number of guys or the quality of guys they attract - or simply from how they look. While it always feels good to have friends, and it definitely feels good to have a cutie blowing your phone up, if thats they only way you pull you self esteem, your going to crash and burn when your friends or them dudes fall through, or God forbid if your looks fade.
If your someone who struggles with self esteem ( and lets face it, we all have our days), heres is a quick way to fix that:
Self - confidence begets self esteem, Even if its false"
This is a very very fancy way of saying:
Fake it till you make it girl.
Put on your sundays' best, hit the strip, and just say "I look good, I feel good, I'm the bomb, Caint nobody tell me nothin'!"
Have you ever heard the quote,"I think therefore I AM"?
Well thats what faking it till you make it does for you.
If you say something enough with conviction, eventually, you'll start to feel it.
The people around you will notice the positive change, they will mention it, thus reiterating the fact that yes, you SHOULD feel this! way, and your self esteem will grow.
Think positive, be positive. Its fairly simple.
I've had so many people approach me about my looks and while i'm so incredibly flattered, I know that really, it's not my looks themselves that draws this attention, it's the fact that I feel good about myself that draws this attention. When you feel good on the inside you look your best on the outside. I'm not beautiful because I look good, I look good because I feel beautiful. And thats the power of Self Esteem.
Last but not least, self esteem is kind to yourself and to others. Putting unreasonable standards on yourself to look, act, or feel a certain way - even if the results are achieved - is damaging to yourself in the long term. Gaining your self esteem by constantly making comparisons to others or putting down others is being a jack-butt (an a-hole) and will be damaging to yourself in the long term.
Self esteem doesn't have anything to do with anybody but YOU.
Build yourself and nuture her.
The inner diva will follow.
Here, before I give you the last tip. I've included some divas who are prime examples of what high self esteem and self confidence look like.
Lets start with Angela.
To be 60, this lady is LAIIDDDD. She is so gorgeous. But one thing about Angela is, she accepts age with grace. Obviously is fine as ever and doesn't look a day over 35, but it seems like, even if she did, she would own it. Angela takes care of herself, she moisturizes, she hydrates, she does what she loves (acts) and she takes care of her business. How do I know this lady has high self esteem? She does all of this while staying low-key. She's just doing her, and the love and care she has for herself manifests throughout her looks AND her work.
Taraji P Henson is a hoodrat (Just like I am most weekends). And she owns it. She has always been so transparent about who she is and so unapologetic. Her personality is so loud and so vibrant and she has shown us that even though she is a ghetto girl at heart that has not stopped her from transforming herself into one of America's Sweethearts (without being any less loud and vibrant). Not only has Taraji shown us that you don't have to water yourself down to be pleasing to the masses. Taraji is such a good example of how loving and accepting yourself leads others to love and accept you also. (And in her case this meant All of America!)
Melissa McCarthy is a goofy goober if I ever seen one. She turned being a goofy goober into a career, and we love it! And we can tell she loves it too!. Melissa McCarthys' self esteem is so high that even when the mainstream media pinned her appearance as something that would hold her back in the industry, she said, Nope. Not accepting that, and went on about her business. Now, this lady makes 2-3 films a year and is our go-to female comedic actor. She believed in herself and that is always the key!
Last but not least,
My girl. My ace. Rhi Rhi. Rihanna gives no F---s about anyone or anybody who could potentially stand in her way. Her passions, like mine, are fashion and beauty, and anything she rocks is a hit., but because of her overwhelming beauty, but because of her blaring confidence! She doesn't care if we like it or not, if she likes it, she gonna rock it. This is whats caused her to skyrocket as a trendsetter. She's one of the few people in the industry who is unafraid to try new things and is not worried about fitting in or being cool. Rihanna is definitely a bad ass. She's not trying to prove anything to anybody, she's just out here living her truth. Confidently!
Step 3: Self Care
If you don't keep yourself up, You cannot be a diva. Self care is a major component of self-esteem & knowing who you are. If you never hydrate, you may never know how good your body can feel. If you never moisturize you may never know how soft your skin can be. And so on and so forth. So here are my cardinal rules to self care.
Hydrate, Health, & Groom "
This is pretty simple. (And I learned this the hard way because I am some one who is chronically dehydrated). Your body runs at its prime when it is thoroughly hydrated. Your muscles, your bones, your cells will all be at their best function when you are nice and juicy and hydrated. This applies to external hydration also. Hydrate your skin (lotion, cream, whatever), take care of your face, don't let it burn in the sun (or the snow). Make sure you get good bath/showers. This may be difficult for those of you who have kids and are used to taking 2 minutes showers with a 2 year old watching you the whole time. But at least once a week, you need to have your husband barricade the kids from you so that you can soak, and exfoliate and get pruny, or whatever you have to do! Water is Gods home-made formula for humans, its one of the only things that can increase our health and our quality of life almost immediately after consuming. (Not to mention - think of YOUR SKIN!)
Make sure your getting enough.
To be your best you have to feel your best. Make sure you putting good things in your body. If things don't feel right, go get checked out. Avoid gluttony on any platform (food, sex, alcohol, exercise). Take care of your mental health, its okay not to be okay, but its not okay to stay that way. Now, am I by any means healthy? No. But i'm always working on finding that balance in my life. I have a great understanding of what can happen if I don't. (High blood pressure, depression, anxiety etc). A healthy you is a happy you, is a diva you.
Alright, here we go. This is where the LushDiva tells us which eyelashes to wear and exactly what nail length is required to be a Diva.
Nope. And still no.
Every woman is different. What she likes is different and what makes her feel beautiful is different. Find what you like, and do that. Whats most important is that your doing SOMETHING. It is imperative that you have a routine for taking care of your hair, skin and nails. It doesn't actually matter what you do. What works for you works for you.
Some ladies are like me, and like to sport 3lbs of makeup regularly. And some ladies will never wear make-up a day in their lives. Either or is fine. But you still need to have a go-to. When you get up in the morning, do your little routine, when you go to bed, same!
Heres some examples things that qualify as "self care"
*Wash your face/ use a face wash
* Moisturize face . *Applying lotion to entire body (yes back too)
*Using your signature scent (this could be Dior or baby powder, just find what you like) *Trim your nails
*Paint your nails *Paint your toes . *exfoliate your feet . * Deep condition your hair
*Try a sugar scrub *Take a bubble bath . * Get some physical activity . *Cutting cuticles
*Wrap your hair up *Groom your body hair *Clean your ears *get a new loofah regularly or splurge on soft washcloths
If your feeling fancy:
* Try face mask, *Do full face makeup *Try a bold lipstick
*Try a new scent . *Take a bubble bath with oils/flowers . * Get a blow out . * Do a hair mask
*Do a hot towel treatment . *Do a hot oil treatment . *Treat yourself to professional hair grooming
*Do a at home facial *Get a message *Get a pedicure *Go on a retreat
*Treat yourself to professional nail services etc. Etc.
My routines tend to be very simple (thats another blog for another day), but everyday there are certain things I do to show myself "I love you girl, I got you girl". This can be as small as making sure I put on my favorite perfume
or as simple as rubbing my own feet!
At the end of the day, being a diva means being a goddess. Each and every woman is a divine creature that is to be loved and nourished. Being a diva just means that you've recognized that the responsibility is on YOU to take care of you psychically, mentally and emotionally..and you take your job seriously!
Just an awkward black girl trying to put some RESPEK on my name. I'll be covering your anti-typical "I'm really cheap but I still want to look decent" fashion topics, and your " I only buy make-up less than 10$" beauty topics. As a business owner read about my entrepreneurial journey, and as a hopeless romantic, read about my struggles to find love . If you really real, share, comment and subscribe!
You are bold. You are beautiful. You are EVERYTHING. But sometimes our society doesn't take the time to recognize the beauty that is uniquely you. It is my personal mission as well as the mission of my business to help you and ladies everywhere maximize their self confidence through affordable fashion and beauty. Not only do I have StudioLush that provides affordable products to you, I also created this entire site and my blog so that you can grow with me through exploring the best beauty products, techniques, and your own personal styles. Please make yourself at home and be sure to use the contact form is you ever need to reach me. I look forward to our glow and growth together!